Two Ways to Treat A King (1 Samuel 18-20)

 Whenever Black Panther 2 came out, some of my friends and I went to watch it in theaters. Chadwick Boseman, the actor who played Black Panther, died of cancer before they could finish filming, which meant they had to rewrite the whole thing.  

My friends and I went into the movie not really sure how they were going to pull it off. Who were they going to name the new Black Panther; the new King? And honestly, I left the movie thinking it didn’t really work because they didn’t answer the question. But if you know Marvel, they like to sneak in an extra scene in the end credits, and we made the mistake of leaving before the end.  

The next day, one of my friends came back to me and said, “We missed the most important scene in the whole movie. The end credit scene makes the whole thing work.”  

Last week, we heard how David defeated the great Goliath. But there’s a little end credit scene we didn’t have time for that sets up what comes next.  

See, at the end of chapter 17, after David kills Goliath, the story jumps back in time, before the battle, to Saul in his tent with the commander of his army. And Saul asks Abner about David’s family, who Abner knows nothing about. Then, the scene jumps back to the present. David returns from battle with Goliath’s head in hand and gets brought back to Saul, where he basically asks David, “Who are you?” 

That may not seem like much, but the reality is, David’s profile just skyrocketed. He just went from lowly shepherd boy to national hero in the sling of a stone. Thankfully for David, they didn’t have social media back then, but with his life changing so quickly, he needs good people around him to keep him grounded.  

So, this morning, we’re going to spend some time considering the different ways Jonathan and Saul respond to God’s choice of David, but in the midst of this we’re going to learn a lot about toxic and healthy relationships and also why giving our loyalty to Jesus is so hard.  

Our story picks up right after Saul chats with David…[1 Sam. 18:1] –

As soon as [David] had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul…Literally, they were knit together in spirit. Jonathan and David are cut from the same cloth. And they have a friendship built on a shared love. They both have their eyes fixed on the kingdom of God, and when it comes to friendship, there is no greater bond.  

[3] Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. 4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt. Now, it might seem strange that Jonathan gives David his clothes. Women can do that no problem, but guys, we don’t do that. But this isn’t Jonathan letting David borrow a shirt for a special occasion. As Saul’s oldest son, Jonathan is next in line to be king. By giving David his royal clothes, he’s acknowledging that David, and not himself, is God’s choice for King.  

Saul, on the other hand, doesn’t feel the same way. [v. 5] — And

David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul set him over the men of war. And this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.

6 As they were coming home, when David returned from striking down the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with songs of joy, and with musical instruments. 7 And the women sang to one another as they celebrated,

“Saul has struck down his thousands,     and David his ten thousands.”

8 And Saul was very angry, and this saying displeased him. He said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands, and what more can he have but the kingdom?” 9 And Saul eyed David from that day on.

Jonathan and Saul couldn’t be more different. Jonathan wants God’s kingdom to advance, so he gladly lays down his own rights. But Saul wants his own kingdom, so he’s consumed by jealousy. 

When the people celebrate David’s victories, Saul gets upset. Which BTW, that lyric you see in [v. 7] isn’t meant to be a shot at Saul. The song is meant to celebrate God’s strength, not David’s superiority. But Saul takes it personally, and he hates David for it. 

Have you ever felt insecure because of someone else’s success? When you live for the approval of people over God, you’ll find yourself there eventually. That’s Saul. Everybody loves David…except Saul. He’s like, next thing you know, they’ll want to give him the whole Kingdom. 

See, Saul cannot enjoy David’s success, even when it benefits him. So how do you think he treats David when it actually costs him? It just goes to show you that in God’s economy…

1. Healthy relationships look to elevate others; unhealthy ones only to elevate ME.  

Healthy, godly relationships build others up. They leave people stronger, not weaker. I mean think about it: The mission of the church is to make disciples. How do we do that? By giving of ourselves in service to others.  

But relationships turn unhealthy when we put ourselves first. The need to be first fuels envy and hatred toward others. Instead of asking, “How can I serve you?” we ask, “Why aren’t you doing more for me?” And people like that are never really satisfied with the success of others because they’re ultimately consumed with the success of ME. 

[Picture of Steph and Klay] – This is one of my favorite sports moments of all-time, and I’ll tell you why. This picture captures the moment Klay Thompson set the NBA record for most 3-pointers made in a game. You’re like, who cares?  

But notice the two guys celebrating. For those of you who have no idea who these guys are, which one do you think is Klay?  

That’s what makes this moment so amazing. Steph Curry, down in the corner, is celebrating Klay as if he had set the record himself. But here’s the amazing part: Klay just broke Steph’s record. 

These are some of the most competitive people in the world. Like, if I were in their shoes, and my teammate were about to dethrone me, I’d be tempted to stop passing him the ball. To love the success of your brother above your own accomplishments is just not that common. 

This is exactly what envy does. Romans 12 talks about the marks of a true Christian. [v. 15] says a true Christian will “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” But Saul’s envy leads him to do just the opposite. Saul weeps at David’s successes, and he rejoices at the thought of his downfall. Eventually, it becomes all-consuming for him. 

Now, the only reason you celebrate a teammate like that is because the team’s success matters more than personal records, and they both have their eyes fixed on the greater prize.  

That’s Jonathan and David. They’re living for God’s kingdom instead of their own. And they both know, whether Jonathan or David sits on the throne, ultimately it’s God’s seat. And they both want God’s best for the other, even before they want it for themselves.  

But Saul, Saul wants his kingdom, his way. And it’s by far the lesser of the two kingdoms.  

[v. 10] – The next day a harmful spirit from God rushed upon Saul, and he raved within his house while David was playing the lyre, as he did day by day. Saul had his spear in his hand. 11 And Saul hurled the spear, for he thought, “I will pin David to the wall.” But David evaded him twice.

12 Saul was afraid of David because the Lord was with him but had departed from Saul. 13 So Saul removed him from his presence and made him a commander of a thousand. And he went out and came in before the people. 14 And David had success in all his undertakings, for the Lord was with him. 15 And when Saul saw that he had great success, he stood in fearful awe of him. 16 But all Israel and Judah loved David, for he went out and came in before them.

Now, I know we just said healthy relationships lift others up. And Saul does promote David to military commander, but not because he wants David to succeed. See, after trying to kill David twice, Saul sends him to the front lines hoping the Philistines will finish what he couldn’t. 

Later, Saul offers David one of his daughters in marriage, but David declines because he’s too poor to pay the bride-price. But Saul’s daughter, Michal, loved David. And this made Saul happy. [v. 21] – Saul thought, “Let me give her to him, that she may be a snare for him and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.” Saul thought he could use Michal as bait. He’d give David an impossible task that would lead to his downfall. So Saul sent messengers to David saying [v. 25] – “The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.”

This is crazy to me. As far as I know, my father-in-law has never tried to kill me. He is a retired Marine, and when Sarah and I first started dating, he was training in military ops, so it’s possible that he’s schemed something privately and just hasn’t given the signal yet. But if he had openly tried to kill me while we were dating, I probably would’ve said, “Sarah, I love you, but I don’t think this is going to work.” 

But David’s like, “A hundred foreskins of the Philistines? Say no more.” He goes off and brings back two hundred. So David marries Michal.  

[v. 28] – But when Saul saw and knew that the Lord was with David, and that Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved him, 29 Saul was even more afraid of David. So Saul was David’s enemy continually. 30 Then the commanders of the Philistines came out to battle, and as often as they came out David had more success than all the servants of Saul, so that his name was highly esteemed.

Saul’s being two-faced. What he says to David’s face is different from what he says behind his back. The only reason he praises David is because he has to. David’s become a national treasure; the people love him.  

Publicly, Saul promotes David. Privately, he plots to kill him. Outwardly, he praises him. Inwardly, he hates him. 

When someone says one thing and does another, you can’t trust them. You start to wonder, “What do they really think of me? What do they say when I’m not around?” That kinda behavior erodes relationships because it kills trust and breeds suspicion. 

2. Healthy relationships are built on trust; unhealthy ones on fear and deceit.  

If you look back at [v. 3] Jonathan and David’s friendship is built on mutual trust and love. It says they make a covenant together. A covenant is a binding promise between two parties. It’s a way of saying, “I’ll be loyal to you no matter what.” 

Over the summer, I spent time with some longtime friends, and every conversation felt so refreshing. Honestly, it felt like I got to be fully me. I felt challenged, encouraged, and reinvigorated by what God’s been doing in my life. It was so refreshing because it felt like I got to be fully me. At one point, I was reflecting on that with Sarah, and I told her when we get to be fully ourselves like that, it’s like everybody wins.  

Listen, we all need these kinds of friends who help give us the stability to become who God’s called us to be. But friendships like that don’t just happen. They’re built on the foundation of mutual trust.  

I mean, just think about this with Jonathan and David: Normally, a covenant was made between a King and his subjects where the King promised blessings in exchange for loyalty. But what were the dynamics of Jonathan and David? 

Jonathan should be the future king, and practically, David is nothing more than a servant. Yet Jonathan honors David as God’s chosen king, and David treats Jonathan as his equal. 

See, part of what helped David step into God’s calling was having a friend who “sticks closer than a brother.” Someone who challenged his doubts, affirmed God’s work in his life, and stood for him even in the rooms David couldn’t go in. Jonathan was that kind of friend, even when it meant defending David against his own father.

[19:1] – And Saul spoke to Jonathan his son and to all his servants, that they should kill David. But Jonathan, Saul’s son, delighted much in David. 2 And Jonathan told David, “Saul my father seeks to kill you. Therefore be on your guard in the morning. Stay in a secret place and hide yourself. 3 And I will go out and stand beside my father in the field where you are, and I will speak to my father about you. And if I learn anything I will tell you.” 4 And Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, “Let not the king sin against his servant David, because he has not sinned against you, and becausehis deeds have brought good to you. 5 For he took his life in his hand and he struck down the Philistine, and the Lord worked a great salvation for all Israel. You saw it, and rejoiced. Why then will you sin against innocent blood by killing David without cause?” 6 And Saul listened to the voice of Jonathan. Saul swore, “As the Lord lives, he shall not be put to death.” 7 And Jonathan called David, and Jonathan reported to him all these things. And Jonathan brought David to Saul, and he was in his presence as before.

Now, we’ve already seen how Saul’s tried to kill David multiple times and how he’s been tormented by an evil spirit. Which can be confusing because earlier we’re told this spirit came from God. Why would God allow something like that? 

The answer is found in Saul’s persistent rebellion. From the beginning of his reign, God gave Saul His Spirit to lead him. But Saul cared more about human approval than God’s. He repeatedly disobeyed God, and when confronted about it, he always has some justification for his sin. Eventually God removes His Spirit from Saul. 

When we think about the tormenting spirit, we also have to ask: How serious was Saul’s sin, and who gets to decide the judgment? See, this is God’s righteous judgment on a king who continually rejected Him. 

It makes you wonder how things could’ve been different for Saul had he just repented. And that gets to the deeper issue. 

3. Healthy relationships help us see our own faults; unhealthy ones only see the faults of others.  

Saul’s anger, jealousy, pride, and fear were not the root problem—they were symptoms of a heart disconnected from God. 

Even the tormenting spirit didn’t make Saul sin; it only exposed and intensified the desires already in his heart. 

See, Saul is disconnected from God, which means he bears a weight in his life he was never meant to carry. Pastor JD Greear says, “When you are the one responsible to maintain your identity, security, and happiness, you’ll live with a constant undercurrent ofanxiety and envy.”  

That’s the danger of living apart from God. Maybe some of you are walking through life like that right now. You could summarize your life as “disconnected from God and outside of His favor.” And part of the problem is that you’re living in unrepentant sin.  

By the start of chapter 19, Saul isn’t even under spiritual attack anymore, yet his sin has only grown. He’s no longer hiding it; he’s encouraging others to join him. 

See, unchecked sin is like getting caught in a riptide at the ocean. The current is strong and deceptive. It pulls you far from shore, and the longer you ignore it, the harder it is to escape.  

That’s why good friends matter. They warn you about the sin that’s pulling you away from God. Jonathan does this for Saul, and while Saul listens to Jonathan for a moment, he never truly repents. He never acknowledges that his pursuit of David is ultimately a rejection of God’s plan.  

Eventually, things between Saul and David are so dangerous that David has no choice but to run. He flees to Samuel’s house, but when Saul finds out where David is, he sends messengers to capture him. 

But when they arrive, they find Samuel and David among a group of prophets…[v. 20] – …and when [the messengers] saw the company of the prophets prophesying, and Samuel standing as head over them, the Spirit of God came upon the messengers of Saul, and they also prophesied. 

God’s presence was so powerful He overwhelmed Saul’s messengers. It reminds me of the time Solomon first dedicated the Temple and the priests brought in the Ark of the Covenant. 1 Kings 8 says, “the glory of the Lord filled the house of the Lord,” so powerfully that the priests couldn’t even stand. 

See, the Spirit of God’s presence is so weighty that even those sent to oppose His plans can do nothing but sing his praises. Three different groups of messengers come to capture David, and all three stop in their tracks and begin praising the Lord. 

Eventually Saul comes looking for David himself. [v. 23] – And he went there to Naioth in Ramah. And the Spirit of God came upon him also, and as he went he prophesied until he came to Naioth in Ramah. 24 And he too stripped off his clothes, and he too prophesied before Samuel and lay naked all that day and all that night.  

Naturally, you might ask, why would the Spirit of God cause Saul to strip down naked? It’s a good question.  

By this point, God had given Saul every opportunity to repent. He’s spoken through Samuel, Jonathan, and Michal, but Saul continues to reject God’s ways. So God steps in. Saul encounters the holy presence of the living God, and forces his surrender.  

See, Saul’s become an “anti-messiah” not only because he’s against God’s chosen King, but because he wants to serve in place of him. And that’s a temptation this is in the heart of every one of us.  

We’ll come back to that, but notice how this moment connects with Jonathan giving David his robe. See, God’s purposes always prevail. The difference is Jonathan willingly surrendered his position, while Saul had to experience the shame of having it taken from him. 

After David escapes again, in chapter 20, he goes to meet with Jonathan. And after all these attempts on his life, David finally admits to Jonathan, “I don’t think your dad likes me.” And he asks Jonathan, “Have I done something wrong?” Which is an incredibly humble position.  

When’s the last time someone sinned against you and your first question was how you contributed to the problem? More likely, we focus on what wrong they’ve done to us.  

But David says to Jonathan and says: “Help me see myself. Am I missing something here? What do I need to change?” 

We all need friends like that. People we deputize to call us out. Who have free reign to ask us anything. “Help me see my blind spots. Point out anything in my life that keeps me from following God.” 

That’s what Jonathan is able to do for David, and after he tells David he’s done nothing wrong they create a plan to test the intentions of Saul’s heart.  

Here’s what they decide to do: David will skip the monthly banquet 

Saul has with his generals, and if Saul asks why David’s not there, Jonathan will say he gave David permission to tend to a family matter. If Saul gets angry, they’ll know he has plans to kill David.  

Now, you gotta understand, this is a pivotal moment for David AND Jonathan. See, David has a responsibility to return to the service of the King, but returning could cost him his life.  

On the other hand, Jonathan has to decide if he’ll be faithful to the covenant he and David made or if he’ll let personal ambitions get in the way of God’s Kingdom advancing. With David out of the picture, the throne would belong to him.  

There’s a show currently on Amazon called Beast Games where 1,000 contestants compete against one another for this massive cash prize. 

Near the end of the show, 10 players play a game where they’re each given a chance to split 4 million ringgit. Everybody gets a chance to claim some of the money, but only one person can go at a time, and whatever that person takes is subtracted from the whole.  

What’s funny to me is everyone always thinks they’ll split it evenly, but that never happens. In Season 2, the first player takes RM1 million, and when one of the other players hears about it, he can’t believe it.  

When it’s his turn, you hear him say to the host, “If you take even 1 ringgit over 400k, you’re a villain.” But when he’s the one standing in front of all that money, he also takes RM1 million. And when it happened, I’m like, “He’s a villain!” 

But it just goes to show we don’t always know what’s in our hearts until we’re tested. That’s where Jonathan sits in this moment. He’s said he’d be loyal to David no matter what. But the threat to David is real. So what does Jonathan do? He doubles down on the covenant they’ve made with each other. 

[20:12] – And Jonathan said to David, “The Lord, the God of Israel, be witness! When I have sounded out my father, about this time tomorrow, or the third day, behold, if he is well disposed toward David, shall I not then send and disclose it to you? 13 But should it please my father to do you harm, the Lord do so to Jonathan and more also if I do not disclose it to you and send you away, that you may go in safety. May the Lord be with you, as he has been with my father. 14 If I am still alive, show me the steadfast love of the Lord, that I may not die; 15 and do not cut off your steadfast love from my house forever, when the Lord cuts off every one of the enemies of David from the face of the earth.” 16 And Jonathan made a covenant with the house of

David…

Jonathan promises David his absolute loyalty. He says, “David, you’re not gonna die, and I won’t be King. You will. Remember me and my house when you sit on the throne” just like the thief on the Cross asks Jesus to remember him when he enters into glory.   

Later, at the banquet, when Saul finds out Jonathan gave David permission to leave, Saul is enraged. [v. 30] – Then Saul’s anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said to him, “You son of a perverse, rebellious woman, do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame, and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness? 31 For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established. Therefore send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die.”

So Jonathan goes to warn David, and when David learns of Saul’s plans they both weep.  

[v. 42] – Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’” And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.

What we learn from Jonathan and Saul is more than just the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Ultimately, we see two ways to treat a King. 

Let’s revisit the question we asked at the very beginning: Who is David? Saul and Jonathan both had to answer that.  

For Jonathan, David was God’s chosen king; a man after God’s own heart. And Jonathan wanted nothing more than to see God’s kingdom advance, even if it meant giving up his right to the throne. His friendship with David shows us what it looks like to willingly submit to God’s King. 

But if Jonathan was a picture of what it looks like to crown God’s King in your life, Saul is a picture of what it looks like to crucify him. See, for Saul, David is a threat to his throne and kingdom. Ultimately, David exposes the very rebellion in Saul that leaves him on the outside of God’s Kingdom.  

What about for you? See, Saul and Jonathan had to answer: Who is David? But the question we must answer is: Who is Jesus in my life?  

Is he a threat to your throne or a friend you gladly surrender everything to? 

Because you can’t have it both ways. And let’s face it, there’s a desire inside all of us that says, I want do things my way. And as honest and well-meaning as that might be, you cannot desire the advancement of God’s Kingdom according to your will, your way. You must surrender to him.  

Have you done that? As the band comes back up, I want to give you the chance to respond: 

See, we all need a friend like Jonathan who willingly gives up his position to elevate others. Someone we can trust to never leave us or forsake us. Someone who helps us see ourselves and who’s even willingly lay down his life to save us because he loves us as much as he loves himself.  

That’s exactly the friend we have in Jesus. He gave up His place of honor to save us, not because we deserved it, but because He loves us. 

So what do you need to surrender to Him today? Where do you need to say, “Jesus, You are the rightful King of my life. I submit to You”? Maybe it’s in your anger, your jealousy, your fear, or your desire for control. Ask Him to remove these things and to make you more like Him. Let’s pray. 

¹ Works Consulted:  

1 & 2 Samuel – Vannoy; “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” – Greear; “The Friendship Covenant” – Shelton